Bad vibes around Queens

Sometimes so many strange and bad things happen to you at once that you feel like you can’t take it. You feel so emotionally scarred and empty, like an old balloon with the wind popped out of it. As if there’s nothing left to sear or burn or damage. You are so exhausted by life and the way people treat each other and talk to you and the events that unfold seem to conspire to drag you down or break you and you can not believe that so many things are going so badly.  It is in the air this month and it runs as far as the huddles in the street, to the pubs and places that once you called home. A fury or hatred and ridicule that people wear and try to make you wear like a one size fits all plastic bag over your face made to extinguish joy. I don’t know what it is or what it all mean but I know it is real. One would think at some point the stress and the hatred and the pain would stop and you wonder how could it all still come and effect you. What is really left to damage but it somehow does. I don’t know that all this builds character so much as leaves you broken,  forced into so many guards and defenses, retorts and comebacks, ways of avoiding pain or ways of drinking it all away. I think in the end we all get damaged, have baggage and become stranger and it makes the distance so much further to the person beside you and it is tiring to pretending that it doesn’t exist and that everything is alright because we know it is not.

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