One Review of Monster Mania

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Now that Monster Mania 2011 is over I can look back at all the illustrious memories and mammaries and try to wrap my head around the weekend. The real story was not how pleasant Norman Reedus (of the Waking Dead series) was or how Kane Hodder walked about us mere mortals like a god. Well actually maybe Kane is a bit of the story because they don’t make guys like Kane anymore. Kane is a real stunt man and he wears his scars proudly and you can tell that you can not fuck with this guy. Now-a-days Hollywood stunt work is mostly a CGI mess or  straight up garbage and the “actors” are perfectly trim, male model looking carb watchers that have personal trainers and dietitians and you just get the feeling that if an actor like Chris Hemsworth (Thor) started a fight with Kane Hodder that Kane would crush Chris’s head and eat his face.

To see a guy like Kane Hodder it reminds me that back in the day you needed to be tough. You needed to be like “Hell yeah you can set me on fire and throw me down the stairs!” Now-a-days it’s like. Let’s just not shoot the “guy on fire stairs scenes” at all. We’ll grab a close-up and do the whole thing in post. Speaking oof CGI, Jurassic Park is 18 FUCKING years old and has better CGI in it than Green Lantern,Green Hornet,Thor,The Last Air Bender. Hollywood has actually gotten WORSE at creating believable special effects. OK back to Monster Mania.

The Best Part of Monster Mania was how many people looked like other people. There was a guy who looked like Tom Savini so we called him Pho-Savini, then there was an Ozzy Osbourne looking guy, who we nicknamed Fozzy Ozbjorne or a Motley Crue guy I named Mince Neil. There’s a great pic of the Gross Busters (I affectionally call the Ghost Busters impersonators) and for what ever reason Kane Hodder apparently is a big fan or our friends Brent and Neil.

To recap. We sold a bunch of Bikini Bloodbath DVD’s, hung out with out with great horror people, like Debbie Rochon or Mike Watt. It’s was a great time and the best part was how many people had either seen or heard of the Bikini Bloodbath Series!! It’s nice to know we’ve made a mark.

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